Mine are gone :(

I grew up seeing life through rose-colored glasses. I believed if I lived a good life, followed certain rules, did what I was supposed to do...that life would turn out happy and perfect. It was a great way to live. And then I found out, that most don't spend their life looking through rose-colored glasses.

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, and you learn to see things differently.

I found that after my life began to hit some pretty hard skids, I needed friends who had also hit some pretty hard skids. I have been blessed in my life to have some really wonderful friends. They have been through much worse things than I have in my life. It makes me sad to see the suffering they have experienced and continue to have. When life gets tough, it is so helpful to me, to be able to talk and share and love and smile with someone who has known great pain and great loss. I know they can feel the depth of my pain. Together we become stronger and together we feel understood.



I wish everyone could wear rose-colored glasses for as long as possible. It is a nice way to live. Yet, at the same time, sometimes we don't get the growth we need or the knowledge we desire. Sometimes, when we are really young, we recognize the rose-colored glasses don't always work. So if you are fifteen or twenty five, newly married or with a new baby, I hope you can keep wearing your rose-colored glasses. The harsh realities of life will touch you soon enough...they seem to touch just about everyone at one time or another.

When we wake up in the morning, we have no idea what that day holds. It may be calm and happy. It might be fun and exciting. But it also may be filled with fear and tragedy. Those days we can lay down at night and feel peace should have our utmost gratitude.



I want to thank my friends who have walked the roads of my life with me. Sometimes you hold me up and sometimes I hold you up. Sometimes we collapse together whether it be in laughter or tears. But the important thing is we are together..encouraging and supporting each other through the good times as well as the hard times.

I hope the day will come - when we are old and grey - that we can put on our red hats, our pearls, and maybe even find our long lost rose-colored glasses! That would be wonderful...and probably very much deserved!

First Sign of Spring

The past few days have been extremely hard for me. I have a friend who is hospitalized with two broken feet from a horrible car accident. I have a cousin who has been dealing with some scary medical problems. Suffering just seems to be swirling around me, although I am fine, the heaviness of my heart for them has overtaken me.

When I came home today from the hospital, I noticed this beautiful little crocus right by my front door. It gave me pause. I thought, "The Lord is good to us. He sends us these little reminders that even in the midst of tragedy, life can be beautiful and good." Spring is a renewal...of hope, of faith, of life.

I planted a couple of hundred bulbs this past fall. I am excited to watch them sprout and bloom, each year naturalizing and providing more and more color and beauty.

We do have much to be thankful for. I am thankful for family and friends who come together at times like this in fasting and prayer for those who need to be strengthened and comforted.

May each blossom remind me that this world was created for us...and that He is ever mindful of each one of us. That is my prayer today.

Sometimes this is all we can do:

Heavy Heart

I have a heavy heart today. So many that I love and care about are struggling with burdens that seem impossible bear. I know God sees the big picture...and that is the only thing I have to hold onto right now.

Perspective and Inspiration

A few years back, I signed up for a BYU class titled "Self-Concept". This class couldn't have come at a more perfect time. My husband had just left me, and I was left to wonder how to navigate being divorced, being a single mom, becoming a bread-winner, etc. One of the early chapters in the class was about perspective. It said, "How come when you are at a football game, half the stadium is cheering and half the stadium is booing?" Then it asked, "How come when it snows half the people are happy they can go skiing, but the other half are mad they have to drive in it?" It is all a matter of perspective. Then the course told this story, "A teenage boy is in the elevator. He has just had his foot operated on. It is bandaged up and he is standing there with crutches. A man comes into the elevator and promptly walks towards the boy and steps on his newly operated on foot." The question was then asked, "If you were the boy how would you feel?" The story continues, "The man was blind." Now all of the sudden, your perspective changes. Sometimes we don't have all the information, sometimes we need to see things differently.

This class changed the way I thought. I knew I could be bitter or mad at my husband leaving. I knew I could think my life was ruined and poor me. I knew I could go into a depression and stay in bed feeling sorry for myself and my kids, but I decided to change my perspective. And it has made all the difference.

Inspiration has played a part in my life when I have needed it most. Sometimes I have made decisions that others did not understand. But when I pray, and I get an answer, I have confidence to go forward no matter what someone else may think or say.



I can actually put my finger on a few times when I have received that sure knowledge that I was to do something in my life. Today sitting in church, I had another one of those moments. When that happens, I go to work. I believe that personal revelation is for a reason and I cannot doubt it.

I am thankful for these two things...one for the mind and one for the heart...but inter-locked so perfectly together.

Excuse me, your life is waiting...

As I was driving around a couple of days ago, I was listening to my Mary Chapin Carpenter CD. It is amazing how I can own a CD for years and then one day I hear a song on there I have never heard before. This song was titled, "Late For Your Life."



Two years ago this month I made a wild decision. I bought a home in La Verkin, a town I had never really heard of or been to. I didn't even see the house before I bought it. I just knew I needed to make a change...and here I am.



The lyrics to this song really hit home with me:

You've been saying for the longest time that the time has come
You've been talking like you're of a mind to get some changing done
Maybe move out of the city, find some quiet little town
Where you can sit out on your back porch step
And watch the sun go down
No one knows where they belong
The search just goes on and on and on
For every choice that ends up wrong
Another one's right
A change of scene would sure be great
The thought is nice to contemplate
But the question begs why would you wait
And be late for your life

Now you might never find that perfect town
But the sun still sets on a rooftop where the city
Sounds like a Gershwin clarinet
And you might still be searching every face for one you can't forget
Love is out there in a stranger's clothes
You just haven't met him yet
No one knows where they belong
The search just goes on and on and on
For every day that ends up wrong
Another one's right
Call it chance or call it fate
Either one is cause to celebrate
Still the question begs why would you wait
And be late for your life

Call it chance baby, call it fate
Either one is cause to celebrate
And the question now is why would you wait
Don't be late for your life.

So here I am...living my life. Still wondering why I made the choice I did. Still wondering if it is in Southern Utah that a man might be living his life while I am living mine...just waiting for us to bump into each other. One thing I do know for sure is that La Verkin has been good to me and Brooklyn. And I am glad I didn't wait any longer. I don't want to be late for my life.

Count My Many Blessings Name Them Five By Five!

I didn't know when I woke up this morning that this day would go down in history as one of my best days ever!

For one thing, I stayed in bed working. I am so blessed to be able to work from home. Most of my work is on the computer so I logged in via my laptop and "went to work." My boss is very good to me. I have been with Georgia Carpet for 6 years now and I am very thankful for this job.



I also received my tax refund and was able to pay off all my debts (except my house). This made me feel so good.



When I got divorced, I lost my medical insurance. Thus, I haven't been to a dentist or a doctor in over 4 years. I found out I am now considered low income :) so I get my exam, cleaning and x-rays for $29.98 and I get my pap and mammogram for $20.00. Sounds great to me!



I had a ten page term paper I needed to complete and turn in by today. I received my grade back tonight...I got 100%. Go me!



Brooklyn's check engine light came on about three days ago. I took the truck to our local repair shop. When I took my car in a couple of weeks ago, they fixed the three things that were bugging me and didn't even charge me. So I was feeling they were an honest shop. Brooklyn's truck only needed $120.00 worth of repairs. Affordable...yes! Usually I don't get out of a repair shop for less than $500.00. Roadrunner, you got my business!



I had forgot to get the mail the last two days so I walked down to the mail box. Brandon had told me to be expecting my Valentine's Day gift from him, Amber and Brooklyn. I saw the envelope and opened it on the way back to the house. Out fell two Neil Diamond tickets. I couldn't believe it. I kept saying over and over again, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh"...I couldn't even stop myself from saying those words over and over again. I was so excited! It is for July 28 at Rio Tinto Stadium in Sandy. I have so much to look forward to!



Brooklyn is going to be participating in the Miss La Verkin pageant. Tonight we went to St. George to find her dress. She spent two hours trying on formals...sometimes the same one two or three times. In the end we bought the first dress she tried on. It is beautiful and perfect for her. For her talent she will be performing Katy Perry's "Firework" song in sign language, so we also found her outfit for that. It was a successful night. She will be spending the next 3 weeks practicing walking around the house in her high heels...you can do it baby girl! This is not quite the color of the dress but close...hers has a little more blue in it.



Even with all this good news, I have still not even said the best news of all. Brandon was accepted to the Police Academy. After 4 months of testing, he received the call today offering him the job. I am so proud of him.



It was a perfect day. One of my friends said, this is a time to count your blessing five by five. I feel so blessed and so happy. I don't remember what it feels like to live life on such a high. I am always waiting for the other "shoe to drop". I needed this reminder that I am still capable of feeling such bounteous happiness.